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This is it. I'm jumping ship. Tomorrow I clear out my room. Monday I leave for Istanbul. I've started a new blog for that adventure. This one will close as a new chapter begins. Follow along at: chrisgoneglobal.tumblr.com.

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I'll consider this my Going Away Weekend. 

First there was the Wes Anderson Costume Party Dance at the Townhouse on Friday night. I remember stressing out about my costume for hours. I played a terrible game of chess against Brady. I eventually found a costume from the Goodwill racks. Then I stressed myself out worrying about having to go to Rubicon by myself to hold a table for six but Ricardo showed up and we walked over there together. It was busy, so I think we got lucky with the table. Tessa and Shane showed up. Then Iven. We ordered food and drinks and everyone was in costume: Iven and I as characters from Fantastic Mr. Fox, Ricardo as one of the brothers from Darjeeling Limited, Tessa with blue streaks in her hair from The Life Aquatic, Shane in a boyscout uniform from the upcoming Moonrise Kingdom. Afterward, we break for a few minutes with plans to meet at the Dance Party and we hurry back to the house through torrential downpour to smoke a quick bowl in my room and call a taxi because the rain sucks. The Dance Party is a blast. Great music. Great costumes. Great dancing. We got drinks and met up with Tessa and Shane and acclimated to the mood, then spent most of the time on the dance floor in the fog and lasers. I only spilled one drink, but by that time I was good and buzzed, so I didn't want it all that much anyway. We danced until the lights turned back on.

The next day started with recovery breakfast at Lucky's. Feeling human again, Iven and I went over to Brendan's to hang out with him and Kelly on the porch and play backgammon and I signed Brendan's purple cast with "Wish I Was Periwinkle" and we enjoyed the sun after yesterday's storm. We watch a movie in the basement and play foosball and listen to Joshua play the harmonica. Afterward, I look up things to do with a Saturday night and I see that El Ten Eleven is playing at Blue Lamp, so I rally a few others and we make it a plan. First it's a pre-party session back at my house with Iven and we recruit Ricardo for the show, despite the $12 cover, and Kelly says she'll drive. I start a Skype call with Jenny and she gets to meet Ricardo for the first time and say hello to everyone. Once our group is assembled, we start with grub at Hamburger Patties before swinging by a few ATMs on the way to Blue Lamp. The opening band, Races, is fantastic. El Ten Eleven, an instrumental band that had come up on Pandora enough in the past to become a quick favorite, was a band I hadn't thought about in a while, and it was really awesome that they put on such a good show. They sounded a thousand times better live, and though I didn't get as crazy on the dance floor here as I did the night before, I really wanted to. The place was busy and cramped. I was pretty much mentally MIA after that, but we four wound up back at the house in my room watching YouTube videos until I kicked everyone out because I could hardly stay away. 

Today began with a quick cleaning of my bedroom and me finally washing all my dishes piled up in the sink because the landlord was having someone show my room again later. Paul comes over for a joint and we leave with beer from Grocery Outlet to pick up his buddy, Kenny, who wears his old fashioned Niners sweatshirt with pride. We drive to Stockton to Paul's brother's house and it's already five minutes into the Raven-Patriots game by the time we get there, but that's not the game we're truly looking forward to, so no big deal. Turns out, the Ravens-Patriots game is a nail-biter to the last second and the Ravens unfortunately lose it in the end with a botched field goal. Meanwhile, it's a couple guys lounging in a hazy living room, eating lasagna, shit talking, arguing with the referees and (for some reason) idolizing CBS. Long story short, the following Niners-Giants game doesn't go as planned, although it is still a really great game. Had a great time watching the Playoffs with these guys, blazed and relaxed all afternoon, but by the time we leave for home I'm a zoned-out zombie looking for a pillow to sleep on. When I get home I make sure to pack up some clothes for tomorrow's trip, set my alarm and lie down with a Netflix movie. 

Tomorrow I'm catching the early train on a journey to visit family in Redwood City. I think I'll be back by Tuesday night but there's really no huge rush. The only thing I have to take care of this week is figuring out how to move all the rest of my stuff. I also need to say goodbye to people and it's been weird seeing friends and not knowing if this is the last time I'll see them for seven months.

I'm pretty freakin' excited.

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I'm back where I started, but nowhere near where I used to be. 

The forecast shows rain for my last ten days before the trip. I can hear it outside. It's the closest we've come to winter, so it's welcome because we need it. So long as the weather doesn't get too wild and crazy during the morning of my flight, I'm cool with a little rain storm.

According to Left to Fry, today is exactly one year before the day I met Jenny. 

The last thing on my agenda is Passport Photos. I think I need four more little mugshots. I also need to find out what train station gets me closest to my Dad's house because I want to go visit him on Monday or Tuesday. I'd like to see him and as many other Fryers as I can before I leave. 

I'd been hoping for a longer stretch of time to really relax before the trip, but it wasn't until yesterday that I got my official go-ahead stamp. I woke early and grabbed a coffee from Old Soul and it was probably because of the coffee that I missed the first bus, but I needed the change anyway because last semester's bus pass expired. Another bus comes eventually and I take the familiar J-Street route out to East Sacramento, crossing my fingers and hoping that everything gets taken care of today and that I don't have to come back again. 

The bus drops me off and I hurry toward Grad Studies Department, cutting across the lawn like a man on a mission. Up the stairs, down the hall, turn the corner, another corner, open the door. I try to explain what I'm here to get but the receptionist doesn't get it, so she gives me a cookie-cutter answer and sends me on my way. Open the door, turn the corner, another corner, down the hall, down the stairs, outside, across the lawn, into Lassen Hall through the sliding doors, up the stairs, down the hall, turn the corner, down the hall and into the Office of Global Education. Here I hand over my flight itinerary, my proof of insurance, and an emergency contact form. Everyone is happy for me and excited and this is encouraging. I'd been trying to get this specific document from Grad Studies for Janis but Janis still hasn't gotten it so I have to go back to Grad Studies because this is the last document I need before I get my stamp. After calling Grad Studies and being put on hold for ten minutes, I decide it's best to handle this in person. So it's down the hall, around the corner, down the stairs, out of Lassen Hall, across the lawn, up the stairs, down the hall, around the corner and back into the Grad Studies Department. I explain my situation a little more clearly and the receptionist gets in touch with Joanne and with her I'm able to kinda figure out what Janis wants and Joanne, with eye-rolling attitude, seems to know what I need and so she says she'll fax the information to Janis. I leave, go down the hall, down the stairs, across the lawn, into Lassen, up the stairs, down the hall, around the corner and return to Global Education. Just then, Janis gets a fax and together we look at what Joanne sent and, of course, it's not at all what Janis needed. What she needs is proof that I am no longer a "conditionally classified" grad student, perhaps in the form of a letter. Now I'm groaning, not only because this is ridiculous, but because Bryce has come up from Concord to visit and he's waiting for me in some quiet dormitory parking lot nearby. I go down the hall, down the stairs, through the sliding doors, across the lawn, up the stairs, down the hall and return to Grad Studies with waning enthusiasm. I get the receptionist to get Joanne and with Joanne we find out that my unofficial transcript shows the proof that Janis needs, so Joanne circles the appropriate evidence and sends me back to Global Education. Down the hall, down the stairs, across the lawn, up the stairs, down the hall, and here I give Janis the transcript and it's not exactly what she wanted, but she can't argue against the evidence and so she accepts it. Thank God, she accepts it. Then she hugs me and tells me to send pictures and I say goodbye and I leave. 

Bryce picked me up. We drove back to my house and parked and walked to Paesanos for pizza, which was delicious. Afterward, we got drunk off wine while I taught Bryce how to play backgammon. He beat me twice. He taught me a pretty cool dice game. We watched Workaholics. He didn't get to stay long, but it was nice to see my old college roommate again. We're becoming adults so quickly. 

Iven came by that night to celebrate Ricardo's new job by hotboxing my bedroom with us and Kevin and a blunt. For whatever reason, Iven and I decided to go to Press Club to see a band that turned out not to be there, so we found ourselves paying a three dollar cover for an empty bar and a DJ playing dubstep. We went back to my house after a drink and Iven went home. 

On Wednesday I hosted an impromptu bonfire with Kelly, Andy, Iven, Tessa, Chris and Katie. Ricardo and Kevin made appearances. Strange to think that was probably the last bonfire I'd ever host here. Everything felt glossy that night after seeing that my financial aid came through, after finally reaching that moment where I knew everything was really going to work out. I paid off my credit card, bought all of my plane tickets, and purchased my health insurance. That was a great feeling. I might have some pretty horrendous flights ahead of me, but they were the cheapest and they'll still get me where I want to go. 

All told, I'm gone from January 30 to August 19.

Now I can ride out these last ten days at whatever pace I feel like.

It's not much time and I don't know what to do with it, but tonight there's a Wes Anderson Costume Dance Party at the Townhouse, which should be fun. The playoffs are this weekend. I want to visit the Fryers early next week. Then it's my Mom's birthday next Saturday so I'll be up in Auburn for my Goodbye California weekend, and on Sunday there might be a trip planned to Hidden Falls. That would be a nice way to close out the month. Then Istanbul.

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I'm embarrassed by the low digits in my bank account. But when you don't have a job and you have to eat and you want to make the most of your last weeks in Sacramento before a big adventure, then I guess this is what you'd expect to happen. Someone randomly commented on a post I wrote at the beginning of this experiment that said, "Don't fuck yourself." It was probably the best advice anyone gave me at the time. Thankfully I think I've avoided fucking myself. Knock on wood. I certainly did come close, though. I'm $688.18 away from penniless. 

That said, my Sac State Student Fees have been paid for, which means the government loan lenders have distributed my financial aid and Sac State took out the bits that they wanted. Now I'm waiting for the leftovers to trickle down and direct-deposit into my bank account. I had a dream this happened last night. It was a great dream. Half of that will pay off my new credit debt.

I got an e-mail from the financial aid folks at Sac State that told me to expect my direct deposit on the 19th. That's two more days. The 19th is 11 days before I'm supposed to be leaving the country. I need that money to buy my other plane tickets and my insurance. I have to do all of this within the next 13 days and make sure to have time to drop off the rest of my paperwork with Global Education on a weekday before 5:00pm. I know that I've just been repeating that for the past few posts, which is why I've stopped writing as often because nothing really has changed. 

In the outside world, however, things continue to flow along. I'm having a great time bonding with my housemates and keeping my bedroom door open. I've been spending time with friends whenever I get the chance. Jenny and I are still going strong, Skyping and Kakao-Talking as much as possible. I've been writing a new story and I really like it so far. I've won a few games of backgammon. I'm hooked on a show called Workaholics. I've been pretty lazy about learning Turkish, but here and there I watch a lesson on YouTube. I still have more books to pack. The honest truth is I've been doing a lot of nothing, filling my mind with random stumbled-upon junk on the internet, listening to a lot of music, smoking a lot of weed, spending too much money on eating out, wasting hours at coffee shops to feel productive, taking extra-long showers, going on walks without purpose, contemplating the future and crossing my fingers that my present plans will work out.

Worst case scenario, I hope, is that my family helps me get the tickets earlier (as in: tomorrow). But a part of me wants to steer clear from asking them for help. I'll take it if they offer, but even if they didn't I think I can still get away with waiting until next week if I have to. 

Anyway. That's life right now.

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I wasn't going to write again until after I got my financial aid, but I've already forgotten details of the week that I knew I should've written down.

 

Today was eventful. I bumped into Kelly at Old Soul in the morning when I'd been there writing and we made plans to get lunch later at N Street Cafe. Brady and I played a few intense chess games in his apartment. Kevin and Ricardo were having a fire in the backyard and I joined them. Kevin's girlfriend (wife?) came by and I forget her name, but she bought us pizza and we ate in the kitchen, which Ricardo rearranged and really improved upon. Kevin was pretty drunk and disappeared and after sticking around for a few more conversation topics, his wife (?) went up and joined him. Ricardo told me about a near bar-brawl experience and I got to talk about the plans I've made with Jenny and by the time we'd all called it a night, we all knew each other a little bit better. Ricardo and Kevin are great guys to take over the spirit of this house and I hope whoever fills my room will fit the groove. They're showing my room tomorrow from 3 to 5 PM. Our landlords tend to pick good characters. I'm excited to see what's become of the place when I come back from South Korea. 

Otherwise, I remember hanging out with Kelly, hanging out with Paul, seeing Samir and Sarah, watching a movie called "Crazy On The Outside," creating this portfolio for myself, packing books into boxes, organizing my clothes into suitcases and learning how to say the first 20 numbers in Turkish. 

The days all blend. This is a strange time. I've done good with filling my time, making it pass quickly, but I also recognize how distant these memories will feel once I'm overseas. I want to make sure I embrace the temporal state of things and make the most of them. It's been good getting to know my housemates. It's been good to share my plans with strangers because everyone has advice and encouragement to share. Until I'm there, however, there is more waiting to be done and paperwork to be filled. But soon, soon all of this patient thumb-twiddling will be worth it.

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 This is us leaving Andy's apartment:

This is a staircase I saw:

This is the side of a van:

This is the sink at Blue Cue (I think):

This guy was metal-detecting:

The cranes at sunset:

The new hospital wing:

My favorite of the two cranes:

Kaleidoscope 1:

Kaleidoscope 2:

Me at a Boulder tea house:

Food and stuffs from South Korea with love:

Me posing in awesome new jacket:

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Munk is now a pillow doll and he lives with Jenny in South Korea.

Spent my lunch at Old Soul meeting Jinna and Brian, who recently moved to Sacramento from Tahoe and Jinna's looking to teach yoga. I read some "Farewell to Arms" and wrote more in the robot story, drank a lot of coffee and thoroughly enjoyed a blackberry scone. Jake and I got invited to see "The Artist" with Kelly but Jake's got plans with his new lady friend. A few hours later, Kelly stopped by before the movie for a quick smoke and we happened to overhear a speech being given by loudspeaker on the steps of the Lutheran church around the corner. They were holding a ceremony to speak out against gun violence on the year-anniversary of the Tucson massacre that almost took out Giffords. A sweet old lady gave us battery-powered candles to hold. Two news vans and a half-dozen reporters meandered through the crowd of mourners, onlookers and politicians. After the local big-namers spoke, people from the crowd went up to speak the names of those they'd lost to gun violence and the church bell rang out for each of them. That's the part that affected me. You forget sometimes that the random deaths we hear in sound bites on the news are connected to real people like you and me. Kelly and I left before they assembled for some kind of march around the block. The movie was great. A silent film about silent films. Genius. Kelly dropped me off afterward and I hung out with Kevin for a while in the attic, smoking something that tasted like lemon, then something that tasted like coconut, before eating Ramen for dinner and calling it a night around ten. Spent some time admiring Jenny's photographs of pillow Munk, a real-life version of the cartoon. It's awesome. Now a police helicopter is flying around with a searchlight and a loudspeaker that I can't understand--sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher. A train horn blows. A car drives by with squeaky brakes. I'll miss the sounds of Sacramento nights. I wonder what Istanbul sounds like. Speaking of, I made an online appointment with the Foreign Police in Istanbul where I can get my residency permit. I think I need more passport photos. I feel like a celebrity handing out all these pictures of myself. Financial Aid should be here by Friday. Until then, I'll keep drifting. 

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Grouplove came out with their debut album with a handful of new songs that weren't on the EP and, so far, the album is fantastic. This is a rewarding feeling. This is even more impressive than Of Monsters and Men, and that album is pretty solid. There's a small chance that I could find a way to see Grouplove play in Belgium on my birthday, possible only if I get my Turkish residency permit within my first week in the country. That would really be something though. I wonder how much tickets are.

Today felt like a Washed Out song. Iven woke up with a whiskey hangover on the floor of my room and I finally got up to get ready after he took a sobering shower and I suggested we go get some coffee. It was early enough that I saw the morning group at Old Soul and I didn't say hello to all of them, but to Richard and Molly and Ross. Looks like everyone's doing good. Iven's headache dissolves with the caffeine and aspirin. We walk over to 58 Degrees but it's still a few minutes before opening and there's no sight of Kelly or Jesse, so we take a walk around the block. Windy, sunny, crisp winter day. We talk about what Iven thinks he might do with the future. It's neat to see all the options he has and it'll be interesting to see what he winds up doing while I'm away. Then it's brunch with Kelly and Jesse and we cheers to Kelly's 27th and small talk with the bartender, Aaron, who tells me about the Grouplove album. Jesse tells us about his New Years peyote experience. With a mimosa to wash it down, I order the stuffed French toast with mascarpone cheese and it's delicious. Aaron gives me half a second mimosa for free because I used to serve him coffee. Gotta love that. Next, Iven and I head back to my place to wait for Andy to get home and text us. We listen to a few tracks from the Grouplove album. It's a nice day for walking and Iven and I get a little stoned and pack up some supplies for a walk to the river. Andy lets us in to his place and we reformulate the plan to include Rite-Aid and a bottle of wine as we venture down the alphabet toward the B Street Theatre. Over there, we ascend the levy to follow the train tracks east, looking for river access, but instead we decide to stay on the tracks because we're just in the mood for train tracks. Eventually we pass the freeway and realize we're far from the river and Iven wants a place to lay out in the sun and so we realize we're a few blocks from McKinley Park. An hour later, we've played two games of backgammon and drank half a bottle of wine. We leave our bench in the sun for a walk to Mexican food, where we eat too much, and a grocery store, where we buy a Nerf football. An hour later, we've played catch and backgammon and smoked weed and nearly finished the wine and the wind picks up as the sun goes down, so it gets cold and we decide to leave. Quite a long walk unravels before us as we meander through Midtown to my house. We spend the last minutes of daylight in the backyard smoking with Brady and embracing the joy of a worry-free weekend, then head to the warmth of my room to watch Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil. Iven and Andy head home and I've got the night to myself. 

Yesterday started with coffee at Insight with Kelly and a chance to see Lucky and congratulate him on the coffee-shop. I got to catch up with Kelly after her road trip to Taos. We make it over to Tower Theatre just in time for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, which was totally captivating but ultimately confusing, requiring a second viewing to catch all the details. Around this time, Andy sends out invites to a show at Harlow's. I get a call from Iven asking me if I'm going and he says he'll head down soon to pre-party beforehand. Kelly and I go to Old Soul and meet up with Jake, who goes with us to Mondo Bizarro for lunch, but the girl at the register is awkwardly inept and it's hard not to snicker, but eventually we get our things ordered and after a few games of backgammon, Jake leaves for other plans and Kelly and I walk back to her car to say goodbye. I take a couple hours for myself before Iven arrives and we smoke and get snacks and head over to Andy's. After quelling our appetite for munchies and dubstep, we three venture to Blue Cue for pool and, eventually, pizza. It's empty when we arrive but the place gets packed quickly and soon there are people waiting for pool tables to open up. Two girls challenge Iven and Andy to a game after we finished our first and, content as the permanent wingman, I took a seat as they played and bantered and got to know each other. Kim and Raquel were their names, and their friends arrived a while later with the intention to leave again for The Mix. Two games were played. Iven and Andy downed a few shots of Jameson with Pabst chasers and though Kim had proclaimed to have a boyfriend, she seemed to be bonding with Iven while Raquel was focusing on Andy. I was happy with my margarita pizza and having fun just being social and meeting new people. After some debate, we wound up joining their plan to go to The Mix because they had free passes and no interest in going to Harlows. I'm intrigued because I'm having fun supporting the guys' pursuit of these girls, curious to see where this detour could lead, and plus I've never been to The Mix and can't pass up a free pass. Next thing, Iven and Andy and I are in a taxi and we make our way to my house for a quick smoke and a quick wardrobe change before heading over to The Mix. Raquel loans us her special-access token and the doorman tells us we're not wearing the right kind of shoes, but still lets us in. I'd never been, so mostly I'm here just to say that I've at least been here, and the long staircase with its dark blue walls leads us up to the dance floor, which spills out into an open patio with tons of couches and fire-pits and a view of the stars and the nearly-full moon and the swaying tops of trees lining 17th street. There are a lot of people here. For some time we hang out around a fire where a few middle-aged professionals start chatting up the girls. Iven's pretty toasted so it's fun to hear him ramble so openly and Andy tries to flirt with Raquel. Our group moves around and ultimately ends up at the dance floor, briefly, before another trip to the bar and some idle time under the heat lamps. The other two friends are older, one of them married, one of them Hungarian, all of them from the same state-worker position with HP. Suddenly Kim and Raquel leave, which leaves Iven and Andy without a girl to pursue, so the energy of the night fades quickly and we say goodbye to the ladies and head back to my house. We're all really pleased with the unexpected turn of events and the amusement of meeting new people and going to new places, letting destiny steer the wheel. I can't help but ramble about how good a wingman I was and how good it feels to be in love with Jenny, to feel that confidence and security and passion, and how I can still have a good time without pursuing the situations that my single guy friends will undoubtedly pursue. Instead I can give them advice and laugh with them and watch them and wish them luck. Well despite their best efforts, the good gentlemen of Andy and Iven did not get together with these girls any more than the exchanging of phone numbers, but it was still fun. Iven stayed the night on my floor. These are the photos I took the next day: