3,200.15

Life. Life. Life. 

I feel like my writing is going through growing pains right now. It feels like a teenager watching his older brother having a great time in college. All the published writers exist in some second-tier world that I really want to be a part of, but I'm still a few grades behind. So I've been churning out short-story idea after idea, but following through with none of them. I want to write something powerful. I want to write something that really matters. So I'm getting picky. Really picky. But at least I'm writing. Maybe I oughtta try more screenplays.

I started this, too. The Story of Abe.

Uncharted 3 was worth every penny. I've been playing it for about 9 hours and I'm always happy with a game if the single-player campaign takes longer than 8. The story is pretty simple action-adventure stuff, but the character development is perfect and you really care about the characters, not just the one you control. Anyway, I feel like I could talk about the Uncharted games for days.

The point is, between squeezing my brain for short-story concepts and battling against henchmen in the streets of Yemen, I've become distant from the blog. The past four days really flew by. Last weekend was long and mellow, spiced by a trip to Antique Row with Kelly and Jake. Didn't do anything for Halloween, though I want to save my costume idea for another year, thinking maybe Jenny and I can go to some big city Halloween celebration next year. Maybe New York. Also saw Phantogram with Iven and Patsy, Tuesday night. Another great Harlow's experience. Bonfire the next night, a small one, with Iven, Melanie, Jack, Drew, Andy, Chris and Katie. Suffice to say I was well-drugged and half the stuff I said was nonsense, so that was a little embarrassing, but it was still fun to see Melanie (an old high school friend, visiting from Hawaii) and hang out by the fire. Had to finish a project for my Teaching ESL class. Got two tests next week, one in ESL and one in Grammar. My focus is now back on the research paper, which is tedious and feels like pulling splinters. I found out that I shouldn't buy my plane ticket to Istanbul until mid-December after orientation. Tutoring is going well. Good kid, a little light on the attention span, but interested enough to get back on task. The weather is getting cold. It rained on Thursday. Today I took a photo walk and paid my rent (hence the dramatically lower account total).

Tomorrow I'm going to some CATESOL convention in Davis to help with the audio/video equipment. I guess. I have no idea what's going on there or what kind of equipment they'll need help with, but it's something new to do with a Saturday, so why not. Trouble is I have to wake up at 6:20 in the morning just to be ready for the girl who I'm carpooling with. I don't even know when I'm going to be home. 

Spent part of the afternoon at Kelly's where I worked on my research paper and she rearranged her living/bedroom. It took me hours to finally shape together a decent section about economic bubbles and the state of higher education. Hours. I don't understand why it feels so difficult to piece together this essay. Still nice to be with company. 

If there's one thing I know about life, it's the value of having friends around to share the time with. Jenny has mentioned a need to find a buddy in Korea to hang out with since Megan's so busy. I can understand that. This is the reason I choose to keep the weekly bonfires happening. We need people in our lives, either living down the street or thousands of miles away at the end of a Skype call. It might take a lot of work to keep in touch, but friendship is built on memories and the best memories never fade.

I'm starting to recognize the reality that my plans for the future will take me away from Sacramento (at least for a while), and soon I'll be in a position like Jenny's, far from the familiar without anyone to explore it with (until I'm in Korea in the summer, at least). But that's what I'm aiming for. I will miss my friends. I will miss my family. Yet there are parts of this world I'd rather feel for myself than see on movie screens and cruise-ship advertisements. Life is our once chance to see as much as we can. I want to be able to say, "I've done this," rather than, "I wish I had." The cool this is, Jenny wants the same thing.

Anyway, I'll have to be around to finish school, so Sacramento's not letting me leave yet.

As of now, I'm a little uncomfortable with my bank account all but skipping over the 3,000s. I know I need to be careful now. But I'm happy. Jenny is doing well. School is fine. I haven't missed a single class yet. Plus I've got Uncharted 3 and it's awesome, so life is good.