I'm not much of a freak-outer, so when moments arise where freaking out is considered normal, I have trouble digesting the emotion. I suppose the upside to not freaking out is the ability to rationally consider contingency plans and foresee the worst case scenarios with a level head.
That said, I've got no one to vent to right now, so I choose the blog.
The first rule is Don't Panic.
Repeat: I'm fine. Everything's fine. Everything will work out.
Today we had Studying Abroad Orientation, which was fine and dandy, except I got this e-mail from the lady at Grad Studies and she says my "classification application" was not only not received by the September 9 deadline, but there's no record of it at all (though I submitted it almost two months ago). This application is basically a form telling them I'm currently working on passing the prerequisite courses that will promote me to a "fully" classified grad student next semester. It's like having to call the author of a book for permission to read the sequel. Only, in this case, I'm 80% through the book and the author says I was supposed to ask permission after reading the prologue.
But wait a second. This is bullshit. I turned in that form with my TESOL adviser about two months ago and I was told that there was no deadline for this "classification application" during the orientation for the TESOL Program (mid-August). The exact words from the TESOL Program Handbook (2010) are: "File form during semester in which you are completing prerequisites. Deadline = anytime." Since I chose the studying abroad plan at the end of September, there was no way I could've met that Sep. 9 deadline, anyway. Where the hell did that date come from?
And now I have to hope that I'm right and she's wrong. I have to hope that this paperwork bullshit isn't going to seriously fuck shit up. I have to figure out how to smooth this over quickly, too, because in the meantime I have to get my student VISA, fill out a ton of new paperwork, finish a research paper, finish the group project and study like mad-crazy for my last few finals (because the fact remains that I need at least a B in each class to gain "full grad" status, anyway).
I also paid rent today, which hurt.
So I'm not freaking out. Not yet. I will meet with my TESOL adviser next week and work through the grimy details. This is just a miscommunication. I will perform well in my classes. I will write a kick-ass essay. And in January I will go to Istanbul.
The good news is that I met Rasim, an international exchange student from the same university I'll be going to in Istanbul, and he not only said a bunch of great things about the country, but he offered his friendship during my time there. He even said he could pick me up from the airport. What a guy. I look forward to keeping in contact with him.
There we are. The state of things. A little unsettling, but nothing that can't be worked out. I'm pretty certain that everything is fine. I was feeling overwhelmed a while back but I think if I just breathe deep and focus on my school work, things will settle and VISAS will be gotten and plane tickets will be bought and plans will work out.
And though I've put some thought into my contingency plans, I'd rather not feed them any energy at the moment. Instead, I'm going to take a nap.
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