Truth be told, New Years is one of my favorite holidays.
But just like last year, I'll be spending this New Years without the festivities, without the champagne and the countdown, without the crowds and the cheering and the midnight kissing.
Still, it's an important day. It's a landmark that everyone shares, the day when they can stop and look back at the past 12 months of their life and see where things have changed or stayed the same, improved or gotten worse. They can look back at a time when they had no idea where their life was going to lead. Did you expect to be where you are tonight? Did you expect any of this?
I'm proud to say that I expected none of this. The year 2011 has been full of surprises and plot twists and new experiences and unforeseen consequences and life-changing decisions. It's amazing how much can happen in 365 days. Hell, it's amazing how much can happen in 24 hours. It was a goal of mine this year to make sure that I was making the most of my time on this planet, that I wasn't avoiding experiences out of fear, that I wasn't too shy to meet new people, that I wasn't blind to the beauty that the world has to offer. This is easier said than done, however, and I'm sure there were still plenty of times where I held back... But, for the most part, I look at 2011 and I see a year of experimentation and exploration, both within myself and within the world around me.
Suffice to say, 2011 was definitely the year of the rabbit.
A year ago today, I was being aggressively single and nonchalant. It was fun. It was a departure from the long-term relationships that I was used to. Working at Old Soul, I had a crush on every pretty girl across the counter, and some of them became friends, some of them became more than friends, and some of them changed my life forever. I didn't know. I was living in the present. There was a part of me that wanted to make a complete mess of things, to put myself in harrowing situations just because I could, just for the experience. I was looking for rock bottom. For a while, I took my heart out of the equation, more concerned with the physical pleasures of life and the rush of adrenaline you feel from not knowing what tomorrow will bring or if you'll be able to afford rent next month.
It was a time when I felt like I was finally fitting into my skin, like I was finally figuring myself out. I had a good set of friends forming. I was starting to grow weary of my career in coffee-shops. I made a world for myself. I got accepted into grad school. I tutored at an elementary school for a few weeks. Then I met Jenny and everything changed. From the Santa Cruz beaches to the bonfires to the walks through K Street to late nights with a bottle of wine to a matinee at Tower to the family dinners to the Sacramento airport. We met at just the right time.
It was a time when I embraced Sacramento as my starter-city and knew that there were bigger, better things out there waiting for me, but I would need to figure out my life and make a plan first. My dusty English degree and my unending urge for "something more" is what drove me to interview with the Peace Corps, and it was the Peace Corps that inspired me to apply for the TESOL program at Sac State. For the first time since graduation, I had a real goal to pursue, and it felt great.
Now I've got reservations for a flight on January 30, 2012 for a semester abroad in Turkey. After finals are over, I'm aiming for South Korea for a summer abroad before returning to the states to continue grad school in Sacramento.
Who woulda known?
I was still hooked on Mumford and Sons when the year began, which led to the Railroad Revival Tour in the summer with Jenny, and this the year's soundtrack turned out to be rather incredible, with some new bands becoming instant favorites. I fell for Bon Iver, Of Monsters and Men, AWOLNATION, Washed Out, H. Letham, The Naked and Famous, Phantogram, Dr. Dog, Grouplove, Manchester Orchestra, Young the Giant, Cold War Kids, Lissie Maurus, The XX, The Department of Eagles, Two Gallants, Cage the Elephant, Yeasayer, Frightened Rabbit, The Builders and The Butchers, Cherry Ghost, Grandaddy, The Airborne Toxic Event, I Monster, The National, TV On The Radio, Matthew Dear, Murder By Death, The Temper Trap, El Ten Eleven, Florence and The Machine, The Kooks, and--last but not least--the discovery of dubstep.
All of this music possesses the power to evoke a unique memory, like the night Jenny and I slept on the living room floor in the middle of a San Francisco house-party after seeing Washed Out at the Great American Music Hall. "Pumped Up Kicks" was our (and everyone's) summer song. I was, at one point, absolutely addicted to Gouplove's "Colours." Shaun introduced me to a half-dozen great bands while also being part of his own band, H. Letham, which I was lucky enough to see perform a half-dozen times before he left for Colorado.
This was the year that I fell in love, quit my job and went back to school.
I went to Santa Cruz, to Concord, to Redwood City, to San Francisco, to Los Angeles, to San Diego, to Denver, to Breckenridge, to Roseville, to Davis, to Sausalito, to Tracy, to Stockton, to Santa Rosa, to Auburn and back again.
Looking back at what I'd been writing in my original blog, I remember predicting a departure from Sacramento in August, when my year-lease ran up. I thought I'd move to San Francisco or something. Little did I know, I'd end up at grad school with plans to study abroad in Istanbul. Little did I know, I'd meet Jenny. Little did I know, I'd still be looking out the same bedroom window that I was looking out last New Year's Eve.
This was the year of the bonfire.
I taught myself and my friends how to play backgammon. I created a cartoon character named Munk. I wrote a book or two. I wrote a screenplay. I didn't get anything published, but didn't try that hard, though I did submit more things this year than ever before. I donated all of my DVDs to Goodwill. I bought a MacBook Air from Lance for half price. I shot a 9mm handgun for the first time. I cancelled my car insurance, gave my car to Iven and started riding the bus more. I ate a lot of thin-crust artisan pizza. I drank a lot of red wine and Pabst. I bought a desk from Grocery Outlet. I bought my first vinyl record (Modest Mouse - "The Moon and Antarctica"). I saw a lot of live music. I said goodbye to good friends and made a lot of new ones. I used Skype for the first time. I became an involved reader of Turkish news reports. I got a new camera. I got straight A's in my first semester back at school. I researched the education bubble. I started this new blog. I visited almost every member of my immediate family, at least once. I sat on the windowsill, smoked a lot of pot and watched the seasons change. I learned the proper way to shoot a basketball. I took a lot of photographs. I focused on honesty and told very few lies. I spent a lot of time sitting on the floor next to Holmes, my faithful space heater. I tutored a third grader. I finally started eating mushrooms again. I tried all sorts of new food. I got my first postcard from South Korea. I started wearing a scarf. I went through four or five different pairs of sunglasses. I lost some clothing along the way. I got a projector. I got a tent, used it once. I went to more music festivals this year. I paid off my credit card with financial aid. I drove the eight-hour stretch from Sacramento to San Diego on Interstate-5 (and survived). I unsuccessfully tried to apply for health insurance. I had my gums cleaned. I put the Peace Corps plan on hold. I attempted a garden with Jenny, but it failed. I turned 24. I ate a lot of ramen noodles. I walked along the rusty platform beneath the Auburn train bridge. I did yoga for a while. I went to the Crocker Art Museum a couple times. I was temporarily wrapped up in education reformation. I got HIV tested (negative results). I wore a pair of Toms. I caught a couple colds, but nothing too serious. I met Jenny's family. I was there when Old Soul opened their new location in the airport. I shared my room with Jenny for a month or so and inherited her bed after she left. I rode with her dad to the airport on the morning she left for South Korea.
This was the year of the tsunami in Japan, the end of the Iraq War, the death of Bin Laden and Steve Jobs, the flurry of 3D, Uncharted 3, the Occupy movement and the rise of the touchscreen.
Personally, 2011 will always be remembered as the year I met Jenny. If there were awards that I could hand out, I'd give her "Person of the Year." How could I not? As soon as she entered my life around the end of January, nothing was the same. We'd both agree that our weekend getaway to Santa Cruz was where it happened. How does that quote go? "When I saw you I fell in love and you smiled because you knew."
We met at Old Soul. We were drawn together. That weekend in Santa Cruz was supposed to be a big gathering of folks, but everyone else backed out, and yet the two of us still ventured to the coast together, strangers at the time. From the very beginning the relationship felt natural and organic. She brought me purpose and direction. I gave her a world where she could be herself again. Together we explored Sacramento, made new friends, created a tradition and spent every other moment in each others' arms. We loved completely, we trusted and we shared. We grew closer and closer every day, building a foundation that would be strong enough to stand the test of long-distance.
I won't be with her again until we meet in Istanbul in April, 2012.
She changed my life for the better. She has been a crucial part of the formation of my future, the rest of my life, the way I see the world and the way that I love.
2011 is going to be gone in less than twelve hours.
For making this an eclectic and eventful year, thanks go out to Sean, to Iven, to Kelly and Shaun, to Paul and Melinda, Chris and Katie, Rob and Sarah, to Bobby and Lilly, to Nic and Ashley, to Chris and Chris and Lance and Meredith, Jessica, Bronwyn, Jake, Cody, Tyler, Hank, Drew and Amber, to Kirsten and Katie, to Aly and to Bryce, to Tessa and Mary, to Jessica and Peter, to John and Jade and Gary and Celena and Cayla, to Brendan and Melissa, to Devon and Lucky and Tim and Jason, to John and Amy, to Tim and Greg, to Tony and Mark, to Jenn and Julianne and Murphy and Jeremiah, to Gabby, to the Old Soul Morning Group, to Andy, to Melanie and Lane, to Brady and Ana, to Sarge, to Inga and Arielle, to Jesse and Amy, to Meg and David, to Diana, to Erin, to Sonya and Brandt, to Jason and Jennifer and Baby Jack, to Jack and Joe, to Daniel, Alan and Rita, to Stephanie, Ciera, Mort, Max and Kat, to Daniel, Allie and Nick, to Patsy and Cole and Tamara and Leila, to Rasim and to all the random people I met across the counter, through tutoring, through traveling and through dumb luck. Thank you all. And, of course, to my family for always being there.
Cheers.
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